Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
