I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
