I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
