I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
