hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you will always have a special place in my vag
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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