But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
