Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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