Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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