i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
