As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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