dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
