He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
