Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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