She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
