He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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