We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
