Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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