you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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