either way he was missing a nipple.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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