I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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