I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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