you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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