i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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