All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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