We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
