So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
