not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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