im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize