Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
