Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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