I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
