but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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