Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
