my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
