If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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