How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
