He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
