that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Boobs are out for the taking
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
