Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
