The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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