The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
