bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
