I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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