you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize