Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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