You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
