I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
