apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I think I just sharted jello shots
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
