I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
