In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't think brook has ever known best
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
