o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
