4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize