Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
