I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
