After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
