the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
