I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize