I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
