I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
