Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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